We are a married couple both professionally diagnosed with the condition Dissociative Identity Disorder, previously known as Multiple Personality Disorder. Our life is hectic, and we have a lot to share. Hear from first-hand experience what this disorder is like, and in what ways it is nothing like Hollywood portrays it.
We will have a blog post shortly after each episode airs that goes more in-depth about the topics discussed.
Our podcast is available on Anchor, RadioPublic, and Spotify! There is trouble with the Spotify link currently but clicking on the Anchor one will give you the Spotify option.
Hey, Jaime again. In this episode, Vader and I talk about what “Littles” are (child alters), and what it can be like when they front.
Littles can be EP’s (emotional parts) or ANP’s (apparently normal parts) which will color how they see the world and interact with it. The EP’s are often traumatized, and it may be upsetting for them to be out at all. On the other hand, some child alters are perfectly happy in the external world. The key is to keep them safe, either way.
As mentioned in episode 33, Jeni Haynes is a person with DID who took her abusive father to court and won. Some of her alters took the stand to go up against him. Here is a pretty good “documentary” about it.
TRIGGER WARNING: this episode of 60 Minutes includes descriptions of abuse.
Hi, everyone, this is Jaime once again! In this episode, Kali and Mars talk about alters who are not the happiest campers and show it through being anywhere from grumpy to enraged. Though categorically protectors, they are not always protecting from outside abuse. Sometimes they are protecting painful things like memories of trauma, and that would make anyone want to lash out a bit.
Kali herself is an “angry,” alter, and so is Mars, so their take on this is pretty relevant. They discuss how the anger can be justified and yet ineffective in helping the system, and some ways to try to rewire those angry thoughts/actions to be of better help.
Though they both can admit their flaws, they are both extremely lovable and capable of love. As alters, their lives are full of more than just one single emotion. They experience joy too, and sadness, and confusion — the whole gamut.
Thanks for listening, and I hope your day is rad.
We have a really special episode for everyone. You’ll be hearing our friend Jessica talk about what it’s like having a friend with DID, as well as, what it’s like NOT having DID.
She has been an amazing person in our life and we cherish her greatly. Due to our distance from one another we called her up and asked her questions over the phone.
We hope you enjoy her as much as we do. The information she has to share is powerful and interesting.
Hikari and Vader discuss alters with selective mutism — in other words, alters who are so traumatized they cannot speak.
These images are by Angel, one of the Constellation. He cannot speak, but he found a way to communicate by cutting up Hikari’s poetry and arranging it to tell his own story.
In this episode you will be hearing from Mars and Dimitri. Mars is a protector from Jaime’s subsystem known as Kingdom X. Both him and Dimitri discuss what it’s like to be keepers of secrets.
Secrets in a DID system are common as it is a means of self preservation for the system in its entirety. It can be a difficult road to travel and a painful one to hold onto secrets and keep the amnesia walls up, preventing traumatic memories from surfacing.
They discuss their role and how it applies today.
Hi it’s L. In this episode I talk about sexual abuse with Dimitri. It’s a hard topic but an important one too. Sexual abuse is common, rampant, and devastating. We discuss our own personal experiences and the damage the abuse has caused to our entire lives.
If you have experienced sexual abuse, you’re not alone. It’s a sad fact but a real one. Maybe hearing us talk about it could help even one person, and if so, it was worth the discomfort of talking about such a tough thing.
Healing is possible. I’m just at the beginning stages myself but I know many have traveled this path before me. Wish me luck.
Hey, it’s Jaime. In this episode, Vader and I talk about introjects, which are a very common but complex type of alter.
An introject is an internalized version of an external person. Created through trauma, introjects represent a person of importance or significance to the system. Some are benign or helpful (internal self-helpers) and others are meanies (persecutors/abusers). Some are even fictives, which are an internalized version of a fictional character — still valid and still created in trauma. For example, in Vader’s system, there’s an introjected character from a Disney movie that was loved in early childhood, because Roo needed that alter to feel safe and loved.
The introjects of abusers are the toughest to deal with, they cause a lot of distress to the system. It’s a feeling of never being able to escape the person who abused them. However, there are ways to slowly realize that the alter is NOT in fact the abuser, but a part of their own mind that is mimicking the behaviors internally. The abuse is not helpful to the system and can actually stop, given enough help.
Therapists are hugely beneficial when dealing with negative introjects, as it can be overwhelming to the system and hard to differentiate between flashbacks and reality. It can be done.
If you know and love someone with DID you might find yourself in a position of meeting someone new! Myself (Staycee) and Ari share things from our experiences and have some Do’s and Dont’s.
So in this episode you’ll hear Vader and Hikari talk about what it means to love someone who has DID. They talk about loving as a friend, guardian, family member and as a partner.
When you love someone with this disorder it can at times be very intense. However, there are many more triumphs and beautiful things that can happen and will happen.
There’s lots of love to give and lots of love to receive!